Bipolar, Creativity and my occasional drive for “success” during happier moods

I’m 20 years old and grew up in a childhood of insult at home, being bullied at clas my entire life, and my Bipolar disorder wasn’t diagnosed until I contacted high school.

By high school, I had gained a lot of value, accepting 230 pounds, I could not stop devouring, and to this day have an extremely bad infatuation with sucking large quantities of soda and energy alcohols daily.

When I first enrolled, I began taking theatre and choir performing arts world-class, where I learned and developed myself as a singer and aspiring musician. I would go on to receive several soli and higher situating personas in melodics at my school.

Around the same time, I had known being bullied and with things at home merely mentally manufacturing things worse for me, I saw myself in a mental hospital twice, my sophomore time and junior time of high school.

I wasn’t expected to graduate but insisted on taking a 5th year. And that I did. I managed to receive my certificate that many doctors, teachers and my own family “ve been told” I wasn’t capable due to anxiety affects and depressive incantations( breaking down crying, etc) remaining me out of class.

I received my certificate that 5th year of “schools ” with my best friend who I had met through melodic theatre.

This then gave me some newfound self reason I “ve never” knowledge before. When I reached 18, I ran away from home and slept in front of a 7/11 for two weeks, and sought out errand endeavouring literally everywhere I could step to and orchestrated myself a enterprise a fast food restaurant

Eventually, with the aid of my grandmother, I was able to gather enough money and hours at this position to get my own suite!

Ever since I got my place, I discovered this occasional self reason when I’m in a happier mood to where I feel driven to see music, create YouTube videos, invest in organizations etc.

I find myself in the mirror sometimes staring at myself thinking that I’m going to be this “big inspiration” to people one day. And that I’ll have many followers across the world, and millions of dollars to my name.

I want to create some astounding melodic recordings, launching/ invest in organizations, travelling the nations of the world, etc. and just overall live an amazing life that a most people “ve never” experienced.

I don’t think it’s only mania because I’ve knew this for a while, over two years since I finished institution to be exact. I think it was caused due to fact that I had already done things people reckoned i have been able to never cope.

come my diploma hold a job hold down my own accommodation

Not sure why I’m sharing this, I guess I just want to know if it’s reasonable to see myself become particularly successful with lots of money, people who look up to me, etc. or if it’s just some illusion in my thought? Too has anyone else with mental illness personally knowledge this strong inventive drive for success?

submitted by / u/ ChrisSpadesLIVE [ tie-in ] [ observation ]

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